what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's never too late to be topless.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
