I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
