Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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