You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
