I think my vagina is haunted
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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