why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I want her autograph on my taint
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
