You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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