not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
