You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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