i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
