I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
sex in a hospital.. check
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
