i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
