Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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