did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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