shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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