So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
tell me about the eggs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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