Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
