This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
