woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
