I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize