just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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