If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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