Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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