I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
