after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
did you just send me my own nude
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
