Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
