I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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