The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
