I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
