if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
