***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
