apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize