I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
