I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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