So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need moral support for this bender
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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