It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
