She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
