took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We need to rekindle our bromance
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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