yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
