awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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