Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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