My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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