Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
