And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
