quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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