You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize