ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
