woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and she was petting her beer can
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
