The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
