Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
