i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
