Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
do nipples grow back?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
