there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
