I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
