he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
