THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
