the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
