If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
