His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dicks are not precious.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize