You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
