dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
