I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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